I Didn’t Find God Overnight… I Learned to Walk With Him

You can go through life knowing about God…

and still not actually know Him.

I didn’t realize that was me until I reached a point in my life where nothing made sense…

even when everything looked fine on the outside.

The God I Knew About

For a long time, I didn’t run to God when I struggled.

I avoided Him.

Because somewhere along the way, I started believing that my mistakes disqualified me from being close to Him.

So I kept my distance.

I had learned to see myself through the eyes of other people…

And without realizing it, I carried that same mindset into my relationship with God.

I thought closeness with Him was something you had to earn.

Something reserved for people who had it all together.

For people who got everything right.

And I just wasn’t one of them.

So instead of praying or being honest…

I stayed away.

Not because I didn’t believe in God.

But because I believed I was someone He would not want close.

The Sentence That Changed Everything

Overtime I found myself living a life that didn’t really reflect who I was or what I truly wanted.

And I had no idea how to fix it.

It wasn’t until I reached a low point in life...confused...isolated and severely misguided, that I decided to reach out for help.

I decided to see a therapist. I ended up picking a random therapist who had no idea of my mental, physical or spiritual history.

I poured my entire heart out during our session, and after I had said all I needed to say... he paused and said something I wasn't expecting.

He didn't give advice, or steps to follow, or anything I could fix easily. He said that my problem was:

“You know of God. But you don’t actually know Him.”

To be honest, I was really disappointed with this answer. I felt like I needed a solution that I could implement easily.

Like some sort of check list that I could have easily followed that would get my life back on track.

But as much as I wanted to avoid his diagnosis...this sentence stayed with me.

Because deep down I knew it was true.

I had built an idea of God based on fear, shame, and performance.

I felt He was watching me from a distance...disappointed.

But what if that wasn’t true?

Showing Up Anyway

After that one and only conversation, something in me shifted just enough for me to take one step. I found a local church...and I went.

I didn’t walk in confident. I walked in unsure and guarded.

But I kept showing up.

I listened.

I got involved.

I stayed after service instead of rushing out.

Over time, my heart began to soften.

My faith became less about perfection, and more about presence.

My life began to change too. My habits, my discipline, even how I handled money.

I learned to sit with conviction instead of running from it.

I learned that obedience isn’t punishment, it’s protection.

And most importantly…

I learned that God wasn’t waiting for me to clean myself up. He was waiting for me to acknowledge Him.

It felt like He had been right beside me all along.

And for the first time, I began to see myself through God’s eyes… instead of the eyes of other people.

Choosing to walk with God

For most of my life, I thought I had to perform to be close to God.

I thought I had to get everything right first.

But I’ve learned that Jesus didn’t come for perfect people.

He came because we aren't.

He didn’t die and rise again so we could perform better.

He died so we could be restored. So we could come back.

Because let's be honest.. no one is perfect.

Even my faith today doesn’t look polished or perfect.

It just looks like a small yes, every day:

Saying yes to prayer when I don’t have the right words.

Saying yes to obedience when it’s inconvenient.

Saying yes to trust when I can’t see the outcome

And more than anything… it looks like relationship.

Not just knowing about God... but actually talking to Him.

Letting Him into the parts of me I used to hide.

And learning to recognize His voice over all others.

I’m still learning.

And I'm still growing.

But now, I’m choosing to walk with God… instead of running.

If You’re Hesitant…

Maybe you feel like you've made too many mistakes.

I want you to know this:

God isn’t waiting for us to have it all together.

We don’t need perfect words or refined prayers.

We just need to be honest, open, and willing.

The beautiful thing about God is that He doesn’t love us the way people do...with conditions and expectations.

You don’t have to have everything figured out to take one step toward Him.

If you’re willing, you can start here:

“God, I feel lost, but I want to be found.

Even with my doubts, I’m reaching for You.

Please meet me where I am.”

I Didn’t Find God Overnight

There wasn’t one dramatic moment where everything changed.

There was a series of small decisions.

To schedule a therapy appointment.

To open the Bible.

To show up at church.

To pray, even when it felt awkward.

I didn’t find God overnight.

And I’m still learning to walk with Him.

But one thing I'm sure of now...

He has never stopped walking with me.

If you feel like you’re not “good enough” for God…

you’re not alone.

And you’re not disqualified.

You might just be at the beginning of something that changes everything.

I share more of my journey through faith, motherhood, and growth in my emails.

I’d love to walk through this with you 🤍